The value of a faking it in a positive way.
Are you the type of person who struggles with happiness? Have you seen counselors or therapists who have given you advice or medication to help you improve your disposition? I would like to help educate you on some facts that can help you improve your own mood and outlook on life on your own.
We have just wrapped up a week of multiple celebrations, observances, and holidays that have given many people the chance to take some sort of vacation from their everyday life. I have an exercise for you to help you understand how to live a happier life. Talk to everyone you can about their holiday. Listen to those who tell you all the terrible things that happened on their holiday like bad room service, bad food, or bad company. Listen with the understanding that even though they may have had bad room service, they were able to stay in a place that they did not have to clean. They may have had bad food, but they didn’t have to cook it, and they didn’t have to clean up after the meal. They may have had bad company, but they surely also met some very pleasant people during their stay. In other words, it wasn’t as bad as they thought. Their words are not completely true. They are only selling themselves and you on how they want their vacation to be perceived.
The next person you ask may tell you they had a wonderful vacation. They may tell you the food was wonderful, but it is a good bet that something on their plate was not good. They may tell you that the hotel was wonderful, but chances are there was more than one thing wrong with the room, room service, or the hotel amenities. They may tell you that they were surrounded by wonderful people, but chances are there was a negative person sitting next to them on the plane ride there, or one member of their family that was a complete jerk the whole time they were there. In other words, it wasn’t as good as they thought. Their words are not completely true. They are only selling themselves and you on how they want their vacation to be perceived.
The truth is that most of your life experiences, it measured accurately and truthfully will fall along a perfect bell curve. (Graph below) If you piled everything that happens to you in your life into a big pile, this is what it would look like. The stuff on the right hand side is good, and the stuff on the left hand side are bad. The further right you go are events in your life that are better and better until you reach the things in your life that are FANTASTIC. In volume terms, however, you can see that the fantastic stuff is pretty low. Not that many fantastic things happen to you. I don’t care if you are a movie star or a beggar. The curve doesn’t change. Only the things that you contemplate more or less can change your concept of the curve of life experiences for you. In statistical terms, those who would measure their life as miserable or wonderful are simply weighting events to distort the curve. They have been selling themselves and others on the fact that their life is different.
Now let me explain the simple lesson on how to use this information to better your life. Every time you consider your position in life or examine your happiness, work to fit it in the bell curve. That is reality. Those who had a wonderful vacation simply put emphasis on the good things that happened. They did not consider the facts that they did not have to work, did not have to make their own meals, etc. They have sold themselves on the fact that they had a wonderful time. They have successfully marketed the idea of a good time to themselves and it is now part of their reality. The result of “faking it” has made them more open to talk to others because they are handing out positive news. Faking it has made the people they are talking to more responsive to them. Thus starts the cycle of improvement of the quality of their life. It is a vicious cycle that can jerk you in either direction. It doesn’t solve anything in reality, but in the world of perception, it makes all the difference.
Want to be happier? Tell people the wonderful parts of your vacation. As the words come from your mouth, you are programming yourself and those around you that you are a positive person. This is basic HPL (Human Programming Language). Because we are biological computers, I can guarantee results from this programming. Just like a computer program, once you understand HPL, you can logically deduce the output. The reason for making this change can summed up in the saying coined by Ella Wheeler Wilcox in 1883, “ LAUGH, AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU; WEEP, AND YOU WEEP ALONE.”